RAMBLINGS VOL 8
Lately my mind has been wandering.
I've been wondering a lot about our future,
Where we're going
What we will be doing
What family looks like
I've been questioning myself,
Do I really know how to love people
Am I the person I want to be
Am I the same person at home as I am around others
I've been struggling with feeling like Im not doing enough,
That I've failed in friendships
That I struggle with wanting to just stay in my house and be a hermit sometimes
I've come to realize that this is a natural part of life, these questions and feelings. I now get to choose how to handle them. It's not always easy and I often fail. But the real question I've begun to ask myself is "who am I living for?" Is is validation from others that I'm doing enough?
I want to be satisfied and not feel guilty about my life and the way it looks right now. I want to keep growing and I do recognize areas in my life that I want to change, because right now its not the way I want it to be. I think my biggest challenge is to be content even when life is crazy and seemingly messy. I need to remember what is important and who I put my trust in.
My mind may be wandering but I think where my heart has landed is in a place of renewed hope and reassurance.
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